Ah Bangkok, that superbly sordid city.
Where drinks can be posh, and the shopping gritty.
Hold hands and walk through Pat Pong’s sleaze,
Noodles and karaoke at the weekend market, please.
And then on to find that perfect sex toy.
Days are filled with luxury labels and fakes,
The nights with several second takes
To see if that lady is in fact, a boy.
Sailors, ahoy!

Why are we going all Byron on Bangkok, you ask? The sister of one of us Scouters just happens to be in the Thai city for the gazillionth time; she sends a postcard with love and things to do – old and new. “Some are not for the faint hearted,” she warns. And bpb’s other friends contribute too.

DINE

Eat Me

If you've lost your appetite after the sex shows at Pat Pong, you probably won’t want to eat at Eat Me. But you should. This all-white chic eatery with rotating art on the walls and artier global cuisine on the plates, will be your break from Bangkok’s frenetic pace. Get the grilled tiger prawns with tom yum spiced olive oil, or if you like coconut in your food (you should if you’re in Thailand!), get the pan seared Barramundi. Still can’t ignore the moniker?  Think of the Alice in Wonderland reference.

Current photo exhibit at Eat Me: Crave

Eat Me, off Convent Road, Silom, Bangkok, call +66 2 2380931, http://www.eatmerestaurant.com. 

Long Table
Really long tables (25 metres to be precise), awesome Asian fusion food and great views at this fancy resto-bar on the 25th floor. Cocktails are given local twists - see Bangkok Cosmopolitan, Salty-Soi Dog.

Long Table, 25th floor, 48 Column Building, Skhumvit Soi 16, call +66 2 3022557, www.longtablebangkok.com.

Urban Pantry, Birds in a Row & More

Read CNNGO Bangkok’s story on expats who are home delivering everything from artisan sourdough and homemade cheese to whole wheat veggie tostadas. Having stuff delivered to your hotel room may be a problem, but there are plenty of dark alley to set up secret rendezvous in Bangkok. Read the full story here.

DRINK

The Nest and Red Sky

Lush patches of garden, white swings and cocoon chairs lounge on this casual rooftop bar while you sip cocktails (get the martinis) surrounded by Bangkok’s high rises. To go higher, climb to the 55th floor of the Centara Grand, where you’ll find the pricey Red Sky, Bangkok’s Aer. Almost as serene as the city’s temple complexes, which should be visited once.

The Nest, LeFenix Hotel, sukhumvit Soy 11, Klongtoey-nua, Wattana, Bangkkok, call + 66 2 2550638, opens post 5 pm, www.thenestbangkok.com; Red Sky, 55th floor, Centara Grand at CentralWorld, 999/99 Rama 1 Road, Patumwan, call +66 2 1001234.

The Saxophone Pub and Restaurant

Local Thai bands play great jazz and blues here.

3/8 Victory Monument, Phyathai Road, call +66 2 2465472.

Bed Supperclub & Narcissus

Bangkok’s rich retire to the Bed Supperclub, a nightspot that uses the popular concept of dining on actual beds, an idea that didn’t quite take off in Mumbai. If you’d rather not do your clubbing horizontally, hardcore partying prevails at the grandly operatic, roman manor-like Narcissus. Expect euro-trance at night and a hangover in the morning. Also dance through the RCA neighbourhood, officially designated as a nightlife zone, which means clubs here – check out 808 and Inch – can shut later than others in Bangkok.

Bed Supperclub, 26 Sukhumvit Road 11, BTS: Nana, call +66 2 6513537, www.bedsupperclub.com;  Narcissus, Khlong Tan Nuea, Vadhana, call +66 2 6640373.

SHOP

It’s Happened To Be A Closet

Ignore the typo in its title for this pretty house holds in it a barber shop, an Italian cafe, bakery and a vintage store - Bangkok’s fantastic four! Check out the interesting tees, pop-coloured bags and felt hats set against baroque wallpaper and buy bread on your way out.

It’s Happened To Be a Closet, 266/3 Siam Square, Soi 3, Rama 1 Road, Bangkok, call +66 2 6584969.

Chatuchak Weekend Market

This weekend market is a manic maze of shops selling everything from teacups and ties to expertly crafted dresses for cheap. The home section has some super knick knacks; we scored the coolest nautical clock here. Sources tell us that some of the amazingly talented local designers who used to sell at the recently shut down night market, have moved to Chatuchak. Shopping here can be as harrowing as it is rewarding, so take breaks to eat from the roadside stalls selling noodles with oodles of condiments and chilled beer. On hot days, ice water-soaked napkins are compliments of the chef.

The Loom

This store allows you to buy your own threads and weave a scarf at the store using traditional Thai methods. Yeah, they’re spool like that.

Lee House Building, Thonglor Soi 13, BTS Thonglor, call +66 2 7127823.

Malls and Across

Attached to the super luxurious Gaysorn mall is a mini mall that retails a bunch of local Thai designers - a great place to shop for bags and jewellery. Across from Siam Central you’ll find Soi 5 and 6, both cool boutiques.  And if you’re a man, you can’t leave Bangkok without accidentally hitting on a “ladyboy” and getting a linen suit (awesome and super cheap) stitched from the standalone bespoke suit stores ubiquitous in the city.

Gaysorn Mall, 999 Ploenchit Road, Ratchaprasong Junction, call +66 2 6561149.