Urn Our Trust

The events of Tuesday afternoon can best be described as a tragedy.

It started with a tip off about Red Zen, Courtyard Marriott’s brand new Pan-Asian restaurant. Following this, three calls were placed to the hotel to find out whether the eatery would be open for lunch. Yes it would, until 3 pm, said the voice at the other end. It was going to be a long drive from Cuffe Parade to Andheri Kurla Road, but we had music. And a hankering for soup.

We finally got to the hotel only to have a sniffer dog (almost) jump into the car, our body temperature taken, and a bunch of lewd suits gawk at us while we walked past the row of oriental urns that lead to Red Zen’s pretty (and very red) inside. Turns out that the restaurant was not open for lunch, that the hotel staff was misinformed, and we had made the hellish journey in vain. Would we return at night, asked the manager. Of course not. You’re dead to us now, Red Zen!

It Gets Hearse

Along with the demise of our lunch plan came news of another casualty. Bandra’s pricey home store Mobius Strip, with its cool Alanis Morisette coasters and kooky vases, had passed on. In its place, is Mireya, an apparel store that will definitely have women in mourning.

Requiem for a Seam

The first rack behind this boutique’s ugly facade groans under a seriously OTT collection of bridal wear. Blinded by the orgy of stones and crystals, zari and feathers, you’ll soon have to turn your gaze to the skinniest stand in the shop, featuring a random mix of kurtas, organza ghagras and the only two garments that won’t make you gag: a printed panel dress and a satiny black off-the-shoulder number. Last but not the best is a line of sweeping gowns with dramatic brooches, one shoulder necklines and volumes of ruffles at the bottom. Swell! The only silver lining is the fact that owner and designer Sanya Bajwa does bespoke services too, so if you like a basic design, she can probably de-clutter the piece for you.

Epitaph

That the cheapest garment at Mireya was priced at Rs 18,000 confirmed that we weren’t going to return. As we walked out, we grieved both the end of Mobius Strip and the loss of cool in one of our favourite Bandra neighbourhoods, which is beginning to get populated with distressingly unimaginative businesses.

Here lies Tuesday, the thirteenth of July,
Don’t be sad, just smile goodbye.
For tomorrow in Mumbai there will be light,
better new stores and honest Asian bites.
Until then, good luck and good night!

R.I.P

Getting there: Mireya, next to Cozy Home building, Pali Hill, Bandra (W), call 9967589740.