bpb sniffs out six Mumbai eateries where meals come with melodrama a la reality TV, and chai with cursing. Time to unpack the idiot...er lunch box.

Emotional Atyachar: Family Court Canteen at BKC

Watching the slap-happy couples on Emotional Atyachar (reality drama based on US TV show Cheaters) can be addictive, but you know that stuff’s scripted right? For the real deal, head to the Family Court canteen at Bandra Kurla Complex where to-be divorcées share tables and yum medu-vadas, downed with a helping of stony silence or frothy dialogue, egged on by supportive relatives. Even the smallest gesture can sprout a squabble, after which fights ensue about who pays the bill.  Get a corner seat, order some chai and watch the drama unfold; if you’re lucky you might even catch the beginnings of a rekindled romance.  But don’t hold your breath - it’s mostly cat fights at this hen house.

Family Court Canteen, Bandra-Kurla Complex, Rs 27 for a plate of medu-vada.

Hell’s Kitchen: Koolar & Co.

To really feel the heat, head to Koolar & Co. at Matunga where the owner comes with a temper that can rival Gordon (Ranting) Ramsay’s on reality cooking show Hell’s Kitchen. Visit this pretty Irani café (get the table at the far end for a bistro-like feel) when he’s in a bad mood and you will bear witness to the choicest curses hurled at the most solemn staff. In the rare event that you catch him in a good mood, he’ll pester you about what music you’d like to hear. We suggest you pick Celine Dion, unless you want to piss him off. Fork this!

Koolar & Co., Noor Mahal, Dr Ambedkar Road, Matunga (E), Rs. 7 for an Irani chai.

Bigg Boss: Barista, Bandstand

Many were shocked by that famous Salman – Katrina slapping incident at the Barista outlet at Bandra Bandstand. But regulars at this coffee shop know that theatrical spectacles here come with the filmy territory. It’s like the Bigg Boss house where stars who live in the neighbourhood, junior artistes and small-time celebrities with inflated egos visit and make this place a breeding ground for meltdowns. Pair with a chilled beverage for optimum viewing pleasure!

Barista, Bandstand, Bandra (W), Rs 89 for an iced café mocha.

The Dewarists: Saarthi

If you enjoy watching bands collaborate on The Dewarists show, you could be privy to a live session at Saarthi, a tiny food joint (where Ext 202 used to be) in Mathuradas Mill Compound where many musicians grab a cost-effective bite before or after a gig at Blue Frog next door.  Regular patron Arjun S Ravi, editor Indiecesion (online source for music news) recommended that we try the Maggi noodles cooked in white or red sauce. Perhaps a new rendition of The Adventures of Rain Dance Maggi?

Saarthi, Mathuradas Mills Compound, Lower Parel, Rs 120 for the special biryani.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey: Swati Snacks

If you think reality TV show Real Housewives rocks, wait until you see the diamonds screened at Swati Snacks. This Tardeo restaurant serves simple Gujarati food to glamourous housewives of Mumbai decked in their finest clothes and jewels. Eavesdropping will reveal nuggets of gossip-y South Mumbai information and sometimes, way too much information. Apparently, you can never be too posh for panki!

Swati Snacks, 248, Karai Estate, Tardeo, Rs 150 for the baked masala khichdi.

Breaking Up: 210 Degrees

Okay so no one watched Breaking Up hosted by Shannon Doherty, but it did air on AXN in India. If you missed it, you can always walk into 210 Degrees at Churchgate, a bakery where it's not rare to witness students from surrounding colleges indulge in emotional confrontations and teary break-ups over gooey chocolate cake. Bittersweet?

210 Degrees, Samrat restaurant, Prem Court, opposite Churchgate Station, Churchgate.