A celebration has been devoured recently. A carcass stands where a party used to be. The chandeliers are streaked with soot from kohl eyed women and the fridge is an empty rib cage.

The party is over. Drunk and hungry you return home, with no will to make a bowl of Maggi or a sandwich. Enter Mad Bites, a new food delivery service that runs from 11 pm to 7 am and delivers all over Mumbai. The nocturnal buffet on their website ranges from salad and pasta to burgers and sandwiches, pizza, Chinese food and dessert. Stomach (gr)owl?

Yesterday, bpb's midnight snack consisted of the Teriyaki chicken burger (Rs 130), schezwan chicken (Rs 140) and a double chocolate brownie (s 75). Calling Mad Bites on the phone (lines open only at 11 pm) is much easier than placing an order online we found - the website needs to be more intuitive. But once you place an order, the alerts are quite impressive, starting from an email to confirm your order and one when your food has left the kitchen with a tracking number. Also, full marks for punctuality, as our order reached us  exactly an hour later as promised.

The Graveyard Shift

While the food is packed neatly and sent with plastic cutlery in case you're at one of those ill-equipped friend's homes, our burger looked like it was massacred. The Teriyaki sauce has dripped out from one side making the bun completely soggy. The filling was tasty - it has boneless pieces of chicken and no lettuce, onions or tomato - but the accident had just rendered it too unappetising. The schezwan chicken fared far better and came in a leak-proof plastic box, with Sellotape just in case. This gravy, not overtly red but super spicy, is just what you want to eat with a mound of rice after a few drinks. The double chocolate brownie was dry and sandpaper like, without any hints of rich chocolate and not more than a bite level of edible.

We get that the point of such a service is ease of ordering, reasonable prices and promptness, so we weren't expecting restaurant level food. And you shouldn't either. So as long as you skip dessert, and opt for a spicy gravy dish with rice, you will be appropriately happy. Even though the party is over.

Getting there: Mad Bites, call 8080804040 or order on www.madbites.co.in, Rs 140 for chicken Hakka Noodles.

 They came with geraniums and stayed to order pizza, lounging late into the night on floor cushions, fire escapes, the lone couch, balancing glasses of good wine on scarred wooden floors and laughing at this Scouter’s inability to cook an edible dish of simple lemon pasta, the recipe for which had been meticulously spelled out in that week’s Sunday Times.

We recount this story over a bowl of vastly better lemon-and-almond spaghetti at the newly opened Sassy Spoon, winding our forks around perfectly al dente noodles coated in olive oil and parmesan, bright with citrus and toasted almonds. It is our favorite dish of the evening.

Of All The Gin Joints 

Although it might sound like a greasy diner, Sassy Spoon is one of the more upscale restaurants to open in Mumbai recently, with interiors perfectly suited to nostalgia: soft yellow light from bare-bulbed chandeliers (very similar to those at Cheval), sepia ceilings, and a wall of lovely old suitcases. They also have a pretty patio and small bar that mixes big-flavored drinks: try a perfectly puckish tamarind margarita, bell pepper martinis and Carribean Cloud, essentially a Sno-Cone of rum and coconut water. 

The appetizers we pick are less successful, ho-hum roast chicken wrapped in rice paper and beet and feta keftedes that come with plenty of tzatziki but too little cheese. We are also looking forward to Mulgapudi scallops, exquisitely fresh meat coated in coarse, grainy powder: in theory this marriage of textures, of ingredients high and low, should work but on arrival the dish tastes disjointed and at Rs 825 for three stingy pieces, feels like a rip-off.

The Plot Thickens

Mains consist of the abovementioned lemon spaghetti and honey duck breast with a side of couscous. Like many of the dishes here, the duck is impeccably presented, but the thick, dark ribbons of meat turn out to be too dry, the couscous accompanying them, too shrill. We are underwhelmed.

We have heard much about the desserts at Sassy Spoon, manned over by promoter and pastry chef Rachel Goenka. The Sassy Stacks “are an absolute must-try,” our server pronounces with a touch of hysteria, and we are afraid to contradict him. They arrive in a theatrical flourish, squares of red velvet cake served with raspberry caviar and cappuccino foam. Assembled together, the dish is sweet, but we’ve had better red velvet cake in the city. Get the peanut tart instead, a perfect, perfect, perfect pairing of chocolate and peanuts and caramel that makes us smile out loud.

End Notes

The tastes of the tart and of a long-ago memory from a tiny New York apartment stay with us as we combat the bitterness of a big bill. As we leave, it seems to us that while Sassy Spoon serves up some gems, searching for them in a mostly mediocre menu might prove to be too expensive an enterprise.

Getting there: The Indian Express Building, Nariman Point, call 22888222, Rs 3,000 per person with a cocktail.

What’s more delicious: a bookcase with prettily patterned leather bound French books or a showcase full of well-read macarons? Decide at Marie-Antoinette, Bandra’s new patisserie and coffee shop started by two French nationals who recently moved to the city. Savoir-fare?

Hidden in a lane off Carter Road, Marie-Antoinette has a big bright sign that looks like it’s written with icing and pink wallpaper. We took a Sunday seat here, admiring the tomes that are just for show – but being one of the first few customers, they gifted us one – and ordered a macaron in every flavor. The rest of the small menu features financiers, chocolate cake, quiche and Panini, coffee, tea and juice.

I See France

During a conversation of guillotine and gelatin, the macarons arrived in a blush-coloured box with Ms Antoinette’s head on it. The macaromn shells, soft and not too sweet, are well made and each flavor features a different kind of filling. The strawberry for instance, kept within it a jam that was way too sweet. The black currant jam, slightly sour, was much better. The apple macaron featured a homemade filling with real bits of apple, our favourite flavour in the box, a close second to the salted caramel. The chocolate and banana flavours were tasty too, but the macarons in general could do with a little less sugar.

The financier is the dessert to get here, a small (and pricey) rectangular sponge cake, moist with a nutty aftertaste. While the opinion on the classic version was divided on the table – this Scouter liked it – the strawberry flavor with real seeds in it was a unanimous favourite for the evening.

A Good Lait

The chocolate cake was out of stock, so we went straight for the salties. The quiche we were told, must be ordered an hour in advance. Since we didn’t have Marie Antoinette-level of luxurious time on our hands, we went for the mushroom and mozzarella-tomato paninis (there’s no meat on the menu besides chicken). In between came a latte and a hot chocolate, both recommended, and a lush mostly-strawberry (supported by a few other fruit) juice that could bag a role in Sofia Coppola’s Marie Antoinette Part Deux.

The tomato Panini arrived with fresh bread, but a rather flavourless filling, one that co-owners Severine and Marc said should be fixed with balsamic vinegar. The mushroom version is much better.

A Dress the Situation

Come Thursday, February 7, after the opening party, the mezzanine at this patisserie will be stocked with pretty silk dresses designed by Severine. “Beautiful dresses and beautiful cakes. Everything that Marie Antoinette loved,” said Severine. Who’s (be)heading here this weekend?

Getting there: Marie Antoinette, ground floor, White Rose Building, Shirley Rajan Road, next to Rizvi College, off Carter Road, Bandra (W), call 9819435957, Rs 45 per macaroon, Rs 60 for a financier, Rs 220 for a Panini, Rs 90 for a Café Latte.

bpb reviews anonymously and pays for its own meals.

Psst: Have you bought the awesome Coup Card yet?

A box of paneer masala is opened on a make-shift conference table lined with newspapers. It smells delicious, and so everyone ignores the slick layer of butter (or oil) floating on the top. Someone brings a spoon quickly, mixes it up, and the gleaming guilt is gone. Four people have an indulgent Friday lunch, wondering how they'll ever get back to work.

This, a lunch order from Noorani's, was a weekly ritual at an internet startup in Tardeo that us Scouters previously worked at. After a few months, the make-shift conference table became permanent. So did our love handles.

We were reminded of this as we placed an order at Tawa Hut, Tardeo's new Mughlai take-out and delivery service whose radius ranges from Worli to Colaba. Should you tikka chance on them? Read on.

Shell Corp

Last night, we ordered in at our friend’s lovely Colaba terrace, to have our food delivered by a studly  boy in baggy jeans, blinged out belt and goatee, in just over an hour.  Here's what our parcel contained: Paneer achari tikka (Rs.140), well marinated chunky pieces of cottage cheese that need to be paired with tandoori roti in order to balance out the tanginess. The spicy paneer tawa masala (Rs.125), well received by our vegetarian friend, was a bit oily but it had its moments. We had to try the butter butter chicken (Rs.170), a  make or break for any Indian restaurant. Sadly, this one was a disaster - an oil spill in a gravy that was too sweet for our palate with   sparingly thrown in morsels of chicken that could only be found by a deep sea diver. The rotis were surprisingly soft and warm, despite the long travel. The mutton seekh kebab roll (Rs.125) was probably the only dish that came sans any complaints -  juicy meat, cuddled in a soft roomali and perfectly spiced. Our meal ended with a phirni (Rs.45), which was a bit gloppy in consistency but still tasty and  generously sprinkled with pistachios.

Push-ups

The pitfalls in taste were made up by the portion size and pricing, a sure shot value for money deal. It also has daily packed lunch specials for both, vegetarians (Rs.65 onwards) and non-vegetarians (Rs.110 onwards), which are quite reasonable. They take by-the-kilo orders on select dishes like biryanis and kebabs, so if you need budget food  for a party this could be an option. If you're passing by and want to grab a roll or plate of kebabs, Tawa Hut is not a bad option. Stay off the oily gravies and you can avoid the jagged little spill.

Getting there: No.3, Zainab Manzil, ground floor, next to AC Market, Tardeo Road, Tardeo, call, 65006533/65006544, 9967799992, Rs 170 for butter chicken, Rs 125 for a mutton kebab roll.

Toad-y Mills Notice

The Frog is up late every night, and you can’t expect it to rise at the croak of dawn.  But the Frog is trying. Just for you.

Starting February 12, nocturnal music venue Blue Frog will open at 11.30 am with an early lunch buffet and free Wi-Fi. Expect unlimited tapas and soup for Rs.600 (all inclusive), and also a super well priced a la carte menu with starters, sandwiches and dessert.  Whether you work or shop in the area, the menu is designed to encourage a quick meal, but the bar, open with happy hour rates – yay!- says that maybe you should linger.

Also, free Wi-Fi makes Blue Frog a cool new day option for internet leeches to explore.

Bon Appetit!

Getting there: Blue Frog, Mathuradas Mill Compound, Lower Parel, call 61586158., lunch from Tuesday to Saturday from 11.30 am to 4.30 pm.

PS: If you have The Coup Card, you  will get 15% off at Blue Frog, one of our Coup partners.

bpb Byte

Get ready to say “enchanté “ as Colaba’s Asian restaurant Tetsuma turns into a French one. Currently shuttered for renovation, it will re-open at the end of February as The Pier, a fine dine restaurant with French food, an extensive wine list and a chef from Le Cordon Bleu. Will this be your escargot-to place for foie gras? We’ll find out soon enough.

Getting there: The Pier, 41/44 Dr Minoo Desai Marg, Colaba.

This moth saw brightness

In a woman’s chamber.

Burnt to a crisp.

There’s haiku and heart, at Aoi, Bandra’s tiny new Japanese restaurant where a flock of origami birds hang from the ceiling and poetry books along with manga comics hang out on a shelf.

Last evening, as we read haiku and sipped tea made from roasted brown rice, we learned that Aoi comes from the guys behind Lemon Grass, and wants to be a non-pretentious Japanese joint with fun culinary experiments, even if it means missing out on authenticity.

The deliciously spicy Tom Yum soup for instance, takes an old favourite from Lemon Grass and makes it Japanese with ramen – a fun combination, but the accompanying tempura was slightly oily. For something milder yet flavourful, get the udon noodle soup with soy sauce. And in more fusion, the gyoza dumplings steal their tasty filling from an Italian restaurant - shredded greens, pine nuts and parmesan. We also tried the prawn and cream cheese version, which didn’t work as well together.

Maki Mark & The Funky Bunch

As we moved from regular haiku to Fu Haiku (Pissed Off Poetry For Every Occasion), out came the sushi. It seemed to have been made in a hurry – the smoked salmon California rolls, grilled prawn maki with avocado and cucumber and philly cheese - leading to overwhelmingly large, untidy and non-pretty rolls. The ingredients weren’t remarkably fresh either, which meant that half the platter went uneaten.

Is finding good bread in Bombay le pain? Stop whining about it and learn how to bake your own.

The guys behind the fun catering service Bombay ChowParty - we wrote about their apple pie cookies and breakfast burritos last year - are introducing a bread class at the beginning of February, but are taking registrations now.

Titled Real Bread, the class will teach you how to bake three varieties - Pain Ordinaire, a crusty yet soft French style yeasted bread; buttermilk cornbread, a slightly  sweet bread of the native Americans made with cornmeal; and Irish soda bread. The good thing is that the workshop is deigned to ensure that you will be able to replicate the recipes in your own kitchen. 

Also, each participant will get to pair their bread with an assortment of cold cuts, cheeses, nuts, dips, roast fruits and vegetables. Head cook Reshmy Kurian's favourite - a slice of grilled French bread with melted chocolate, olive oil and flaky sea salt. Yum! 

Shall we break (for) bread now?

Getting there: On February 9 and 16 from noon to 6 pm at A 304, Gurudrishti, MTNL Lane, MHADA Four Bungalows, Andheri (W), to register email This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or call Reshmy at 9819024086.

You know those people who wear sunglasses indoors, at night? They would truly benefit at Shockk, Bandra’s newest nightclub and lounge, where the couches are gold, the chandeliers are shiny, and the lights, neon.

Located on the 5^th floor of  a building (it replaces Mumbai Times Café) on the chaotic KFC street, the elevator here opens out into a spacious club, whose first glimpse offers a garish sight - glass tiles filled with white confetti and illuminated by green neon lights that form a moat around the bar. Shockk is split into two sections, a resto-lounge and a nightclub.  We took a seat out on the open air deck of the restaurant to enjoy the remnants of the Bombay winter, while our server came to us with a make shift menu printed on what looked like Chimanlal paper, barely legible. It was only after we ordered our drinks did we realise that we were sitting on metallic gold and black leather couches, a reason to rise up and go check out the other section.

Flash Dance

Now the nightclub section hasn’t opened yet, but they allowed us a peek - black granite dance floor, blue-lit bar, and a VIP and VVIP section.  Wait, you're not on the list? No Jeeves and diamond studded martini glass for you!

On our path back to the table, shaded by shiny chandeliers, we found that the drinks had arrived. First up, the nutty martini, which was a mix of hazelnut syrup, grenadine and vodka (Rs 340), but was missing the Bailey’s it was supposed to have.  Next was the King of All Islands (Rs 560) featuring eight different liqueurs and spirits mixed with cranberry juice and a dash of Red Bull. This turned up tasting of nothing but cranberry so we returned it, to get back a resurrected King that was all whiskey and gin. Our last drink for the night was the Shady Groove Cooler (Rs.300), a gin flavoured ginger ale with blue curacao. And once again, they forgot to add an ingredient – the blue curacao.

Eat, Pray, Pray some more

Between the drinks marching in and out of our table, a hungry friend got a quick snack - a pistachio encrusted warm brie (Rs.370), which was surprisingly tasty, with a pineapple compote on the side that worked brilliantly with the cheese. Another drinking companion craved something sweet, ending our order with the strawberry cheesecake (Rs.150) that was more of a soufflé, a very good soufflé, but not cheesecake.

Despite all the bling, we’re going to put on our optimistic hats (and blindfolds) and say that Shockk is spacious, a rare sight in Bandra; will house a sports bar soon; and should have its food menu up and running in no time.

Let’s hope round two is less Shockk and more awe.

bpb reviews anonymously and pays for its own meals.

Getting there: Shockk, 5^th floor, Crystal Shoppers Paradise Mall, Bandra Link Road, Next to Croma Bandra (W), call 26488566/67.

Our best home delivery find this month comes courtesy Cider House Traders, a new company that delivers cider to your doorstep. Head Quencher Poonam Gupta shares a recipe for her favourite cider cocktail.

Apple Cider Punch

Ingredients

4 quarts Apple Cider (like Ribble Valley Gold Medium Sweet Cider)
1 cup brown sugar
6 oz. lemonade
6 oz. orange juice
6 cloves (whole)
6 allspice (whole) (use 2 cloves, 2 cinnamon sticks and some nutmeg as a substitute)
1 tsp nutmeg (ground)
3 sticks cinnamon

Method

Tie the cloves and allspice in cheesecloth and heat along with the cider and brown sugar. Stir occasionally.

Cool and pour in a large punch bowl, add the remaining ingredients along with ice and serve chilled.

Serves:10 or 5-6 extremely thirsty people.

Cheers!