Although the press release states that it will be open only to people age 25 and above, LIV, the new nightclub replacing Red Light in Kala Ghoda, seems like it was designed for 16 year olds. More specifically, it seems like it was designed for people who turned sixteen in 1999 and haven’t grown up since.

LIV-ing in the Past

Despite its hi-tech trappings, the décor at LIV is dated and unimaginative, reminiscent of a club we visited in Las Vegas ten years ago. Think black marble and stretches of mirror, a ceiling cracked open by jagged lines of light that change colour and flash in time to Enrique’s (t)humping beats. Think dizzyingly glossy floors, glowing magenta walls and special cocktails named after each of the four club owners, including one called Sunny All Night Long. Dear reader, we kid you not.

There’s also a private room, which on the night we visited, was graced by a gaggle of Bollywood celebrities including Sonam Kapoor and Imran Khan. This was one in a series of opening parties, buzzing but thankfully not overcrowded, tightly controlled by a group of ruthlessly efficient but unfailingly polite PR staff. The club opens to the public this Friday, although we use the word “public” loosely – at least for now, entry is by invitation only.

Calling the Shots

What: Black Soda at Filter, right next to the blue synagogue, opposite Sabysachi, Kala Ghoda, Fort, Rs 85 for a can.

Why: It’s soda. And jet black. Jet black soda that tastes exactly like soda, which is to say that it tastes like nothing. Can you think of anything more useless, or more irresistibly cool? We couldn’t either. The gorgeous packaging (cans come in four different designs) only adds to the appeal. Kaala Bruni!

When: You want to get into show fizz-ness.

What: Bombay ChowParty home bakery, confectionery and party catering service, call Reshmy on 9819024086 or view the Facebook group here, pick up from Andheri (W), Rs 185 for a dozen apple pie cookies.

Why: Ever see Marge Simpson turn into a cupcake coiffed with a tall cinnamon marshmallow fluff. How about apple pie that’s morphed into cookies – sweet-sticky rounds with slivers of caramalised fruit inside. These transitioned treats in pretty packaging arrived from Reshmy Kurian’s kitchen, where in addition to “dish doppelgangers”, she does fresh bread loaves, buttered rolls with ham and pickled cucumber, mole chicken tortillas and her husband’s favourite – breakfast burritos. We love that one of her services includes re-creating a dish you ate while on vacation and can’t find in Mumbai.

When: You need a yeast of burden.

Escobar launches Sundowns this Sunday, January 15. However, if you’d much rather lounge at home, here’s a quick recipe for the Margarita de la Cartagena, which will be served exclusively at the party. One, please!

Ingredients

45 ml tequila

15 ml green melon liqueur

10 ml lime juice

3 cubes of bell peppers (red, green, yellow)

2 jalapeno slices

A splash of sugar syrup

Method

Rim a margarita glass with salt. Toss the bell peppers and jalapeno into a shaker and crush lightly. Add heaps of ice. Pour in the tequila, green melon liqueur, lime juice and sugar syrup. Shake well. Double strain the mixture into the margarita glass. Garnish with strips of red, green and yellow bell peppers.

When it comes to rolls, we have three rules: the process should be quick, painless and tasty. The five day old On the Roll at Andheri unfortunately, fulfils none of the above. And since it's strategically located in a corporate building, we feel that warning the office workers who've obviously considered ordering up, is the right thing to do. Going down?

Stop The Shelling

The menu here comprises rolls, pizzas and burgers. For your outer shell, you can choose between pita, tacos, roomali rotis, subways and paratha and stuff these with various fillings. We were about to start with the chicken burger (Rs 49) but decided against it when we saw the attendant nonchalantly open a packet of Venky’s chicken patty - perils of an open kitchen plan. We finally settled for the lemon chicken roll (Rs 79) which was yum and tangy on the inside, but crusty and old on the outside.

The falafel in pita (Rs 69) with insipid hummus and over-fried, almost burnt falafel, is avoidable altogether. The chicken meatballs subway sandwich (Rs 79) was dry and the meatballs weren’t pre-cooked in the sauce. Instead, tomato-chilli ketchup was squirted over the topping heap. The sparingly used vegetables didn’t make things any better. Sub standard?They even have chocolate and Oreo shakes on the menu among other drinks that weren’t available at the time.

In their defense, the manager claims they haven't started full-fledged operations yet and will officially begin takeaway and home delivery from Monday, January 16. Maybe the taste will get better too. Being optimistic? Then don't answer to this roll call just yet.

Getting there: On a Roll, Shop no. 11, Mayfair Meridian, Caesar road, Amboli, Andheri (W), Rs 79 for a lemon chicken roll

bpb conducts all reviews anonymously and pays for its own meals.

Sails and Marketing

If the boats at Versova are missing their sails, captains should look at Trikaya, the neighbourhood’s new Asian restaurant where white sails – used as an alternative to umbrellas – arch over benches laid out on a wooden deck. On Monday night, bpb climbed aboard for a sneak peek (opens to the public on January 14) and discovered a trove of Amrut whisky (score!) and yum coffee-salted dumplings. No plank walk for them…not yet anyway.

Inside Scoop

In addition to the narrow al fresco setting, Trikaya (has its first outpost in Pune) also houses an indoor bar with quirky wooden stools and rows of pretty pink and blue bottles. But the containers you should really be lusting after are the ones guarded by the bartender, which include hard-to-find Glenfiddich Snow Phoenix, Underberg herbal digestive shots and an in-house spiced liqueur. Abovementioned Amrut whisky will be in stock starting next month. Incentive enough to visit! Next door is a caramel-warm dining section shaded by wooden panels and brightened by orange-gold lamps. Given the nip in the air and our affinity for all things maritime, we decided to sit outdoors where Buddha Bar-ish beats did their best to drown out muffled city sounds.

Despite obvious jokes the moniker “Gelitalia” invokes – and some extremely creative ones too risqué for print - this week-old gelato parlour is worth a visit. Tucked deep in the garage of a building opposite N.M College in Juhu, it is easy to miss, so look out for the blue glow emanating from its interiors. Are you coming?

Pretty Please, With a Cherry on Top

On our visit earlier this week, we were welcomed by Gelitalia’s friendly owner, Yagnesh, who insisted we try every flavour available (60 odd, rotated between 16 different freshly made gelatos every day) before placing our order. Nice ice, baby!

The impromptu tasting resulted in immense appreciation for Strawberry Cheesecake gelato, light but rich, a splash of summer in the surprising Mumbai chill; and Paan, which tastes a lot better than it sounds – in fact, Yagnesh claims that it’s amongst his bestselling flavours. The recommended White Chocolate too is a winner, dense, creamy, and not too sweet, but if you must stick with chocolate – broaden your horizons and get the Paan flavour, we say! – go for the Belgian version, deep, dark, as dangerous as a kiss from Javier Bardem.

Leaving us cold, however, were over-sweet Bubblegum gelato, with its synthetic aftertaste, and Rum and Raisin and Whiskey Crème options, which do not actually contain any alcohol.

Speaking of Cold…

Gelitalia also features a cold stone station, where you can indulge the Mad Batter within to mix different gelatos with a bunch of add-ons (Kit Kat, chocolate sauce, crushed biscuit, chocolate twirls, sprinkles, fruit) and arrive at a personalised concoction, served in a warm, fresh waffle cone.

Recess-ion

With proximity to three popular colleges and distance from the yogurt/gelato/popsicle glut of Bandra, Gelitalia is all set to become the convergence point for bored commerce students after Economics 101. They even do home delivery around Juhu and have special cold storage bags to keep the gelato intact for up to twenty minutes. Anyone interested in a call swirl?

Getting there: G11, ground floor, Madonna building, opposite Mithibai college, JVPD Scheme, Vile Parle (W), call 32714811 or visit Facebook page here, starts at Rs 70 for a scoop.

bpb conducts all reviews anonymously and pays for its own meals.

What: Teacher’s Scotch pre-mixed cans available at Topmost Wines, Union Park, Khar (W) and Peekay Wines, Crawford Market, Rs 160 for a small.

Why: These new cans, filled with Teacher’s Scotch and soda or Coke are going to give Janata’s party packs serious competition. Perfect for pre-gaming, before you get to those thousand-rupee whiskies at the club. Scotch bright!

When: You want to Teach(er’s) for India.

What: All night food delivery from MAD Orders, order on www.madorders.com or call 8080204041, Rs 100 for cheese pav bhaji, delivery between Sion and Mulund (Bandra included).

Why: Delivering between 11 pm and 7 am, this brand new culinary service will send you pizza, pav bhaji, sandwiches and even chocolate mousse within an hour. Watch out for the full bpb review!

When: Perfect for late night jam sessions or a 3 am toast.

What: bpb and Aurus’ Gourmet Science Class at Aurus, Juhu Tara Road, Juhu, to register email  This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it , limited seats, Rs 1,500.

Why: Aurus head chef and the ever-entertaining Vicky Ratnani invites you to his science lab where you’ll use syringes and pipes and calcium chloride to make watermelon caviar, cheese soufflé-stuffed mushrooms and Argentinian chicken. The course includes a lecture but not without hands-on work stations, tongue twister techniques like spherification and the chance to poke injections into (chicken) breasts.

When: Pans and needles on Saturday, January 21 from 3.30 pm to 5 pm.