In this weekly column, filmmaker Danish Aslam will be your purveyor of the finest quality random facts, useless trivia and other esoterica from the world wide web. He lives mostly behind a keyboard and may or may not be a wizened old green man who speaks in grammatically incorrect aphorisms. You can find more on his home page http://pictually.me/dontpanic

A Day In The Life Of Masterchef Australia

What is it about a cooking competition with three portly, good-humoured judges who haven't yelled at anybody ever that makes millions of people tune in religiously everyday? Where're the Cowellisms, the back-stabbing, the 'alliances' and all the other detritus of reality TV? Somehow, this little show set in Oz just happens to be one of the biggest (and, in my opinion, one of the best) reality shows on TV today. And this behind-the-scenes look put up by The Age gives us a peek at what really goes on, well, behind the scenes.

PS: That thing I said about nobody ever shouting? This little video seems to be the exception. Watch Matt Moran go all Christian Bale on some poor AD.

The T-shirt OS

I'm not really a fashion guru in even the remotest sense of the word. But the inner geek in me rejoices when people come up with stuff like this: a T-shirt that lets you choose what it displays via an iPhone app, including but not limited to Facebook updates, tweets, photos, etc! Designed by Cute Circuit, a London based fashion company (that also designed some of the clothes for the recent U2 360 tour), the T-shirt is still a prototype but apparently if you share it on Facebook or tweet about it, then you may just get one someday. Get clicking.

The Lost Answers

Ah, Lost! For six years you tormented with me with questions that dominoed into each new season with ever-increasing numbers. Until at the end of it all, I was left with a vague sense of having been through something special, but goddammit, what was up with that polar bear? Cody from Cracked obviously feels the same way. But he also believes that some of those questions don't really need to be answered in the first place. In this exhaustive piece he posits answers to 108 questions. But before you frantically click away at the speed of light, I must warn you that most of them aren't really going to bring back the many sleepless nights spent debating who built that giant statue. Wait, was that just me? Ah well...

Everything Is A Remix

In the words of Jim Jarmusch, "Nothing is original." I'm fairly sure that even this quote isn't. Jim really can't have been the first person to say that line. And documentarian Kirby Ferguson would probably agree. Especially since he's made an entire series of videos on this very topic. Called 'Everything Is A Remix', these videos were created by Kirby as a response to how scandalous plagiarism is considered to be, especially if it can generate a good news story. Recently, he also took his concepts to a wider audience by doing a TED Talk on the subject, in which he expands the concept of 'remixing' to technology and other aspects of life. Fair warning: Apple fanboys may not have a smile on their faces after seeing this.

Movie Outfit Quiz

What people wear in the movies set trends. Nobody knows this better than the poor Karol Bagh tailor who's assaulted every month by rotund Punjabi housewives (nothing against that species, mind you, some of our best humour comes from them) demanding the latest "Deepika-wali suit piece", only about four sizes too large. But this post is not about that. Or anything to do with Bollywood at all. I just needed an intro leading into movie costumes and somehow rotund Punjabi housewives demanding the latest 'fashion' jumped to mind. What can I say? Anyhoo... photographer Candice Milon has done a photo-spread for Sport & Style magazine modelled like a quiz: guess the iconic movie character based on the clothes laid out. Fun, and full of "how the hell did I miss that" moments. My only complaint is that there are too few.

The Best Opening Scenes In Cinema

Thankfully this one doesn't really need an intro, thanks to the very helpful title created by the kind folks over at FlavorWire. Makes my job much easier and spares you from much unnecessary rambling. The Best Opening Scenes In Cinema. Et voila!

10 Sucker-Bets To Make You Popular. Or Not.

Are you tired of being the most boring person in the room? Are you a permanently wilted wallflower? Do you want to be the life of the party? Does nobody ever talk to you at social gatherings? Now wow and amaze your friends with these 10 guaranteed-to-make-you-popular tricks to perform at any communal occasion! Impress the ladies (or the men), flabbergast your friends and just generally knock everybody for a six! Come one, come all. No refunds.

The Dark Knight Poster

Even though we've finally got it out of our systems, I can't help myself. I shall leave you with yet another Dark Knight post. This image was created by Messenjahmatt (and you should check out his site for more of the same) to celebrate Christopher Nolan and his most popular gift to the world of cinema: The Dark Knight trilogy. One of the best fan-made posters I've seen, it combines all three movies (and the Batman logo) along with the entire roster of villains. There's a space on my wall just waiting for this one.