Carrie: I'm not going to replace a man with some battery-operated device.
Miranda: You say that, but you haven't met The Rabbit.
Samantha: Oh come on, if you're going to get a vibrator, at least get one called The Horse.

We first heard about the rabbit probably the same time you first heard about the rabbit, off Sex And The City, looking nervously to our left to see if our parents comprehended what it was the four women on screen were discussing.

 

Pro-totypes

Samantha may have gotten her wish after all: the Rabbit is apparently dead, long live the Yellow Tennis Coach. After some furtive searching (never mind why) and some giggling (are they really selling what we think they’re selling?) we stumbled upon e-commerce website Rooja, which sells among the kitschy handbags and hand painted shoes, high end vibrators from Hong Kong. These are described coyly on the website as “Happiness gadgets. Personal massagers. Glee contraptions. Or joy creators. Call them what you will, they know exactly how to deliver vibrations that will keep you smiling.”

 

While the names are amusing—who wants to do the Purple Millionaire? — we were tilting our heads at the screen to figure out how exactly some of them would work. We can see the (knobby) appeal of the Tennis Coach, with a smiley face embossed on his (?) derriere, but we’re sorry to say the Red Fireman and the Blue Frenchman are just a trifle reminiscent of a gynecological exam. Oh well, whatever floats your boat?

 

A Bullet In Hand

We did a little internet research on the vibrator company, and with loads of press in the international media, you won’t have to worry about them being shady. From a professional vibrator review blog (yes, someone has that job): “Right off the bat, the Smile Maker that most caught my eye was the Frenchman. The soft silicone material comes to a petal-like shape at the top. The material becomes thinner and malleable, leaving the way you use it open to interpretation and preference.”

 

Sales on these end today at midnight, so check them out now!

 

PS: While on the Smile Maker website, have a go at their Fantasy Man generator, which will probably make you smile more than your vibrator will.

 

Getting There: Visit http://rooja.com/women/smile-makers.html, Rs 2,484 for Yellow Tennis Coach, sale ends May 23, 11.59 pm.

In our sepia-tinted memories of 1980s Delhi, amongst the Fiats and Contessas and the smell of summer, the bicycle reigns strong. It was when we discovered the first essential difference between boys and girls—boys’ bikes had a straight bar and ours dipped. How potently symbolic that would be. However, our visit to Hero Cycle’s recently opened store – the first of it’s kind ever, apparently - didn’t end up invoking any nostalgia: the new age cycles here are nothing our six year old selves encountered.

Getting A Handle On It

The showroom is located on the main Yusuf Sarai road (warning: parking is awful), with a small set of glass doors and deceptively tiny entryway; walk through and the store is significantly larger, lined with bikes on all the walls and accessories in shelves.

We’d gone prepared with a cover story about a sister who needs a bike for work to test out the sales staff, but before long were asking questions for ourselves. The object of our affection was a shiny orange alloy, with tires that can be removed for easy packing and a seat that rises and collapses. Lighter than most, the salesman demonstrated how you can pick it up and carry it up a flight of stairs.

Saddle Up

Another one we liked was the Urban Trails bike, and an adorable toddler version. One, just our size, was tricked out with a pretty purple basket, perfect for tossing in a handbag. They also had three sizeable walls of accessories including helmets, seat padding, LED lights, speedometers and gloves.  You can take a virtual tour of the showroom here.

 

Meet us in the park for a spin?

 

Getting There: 17/2 & 17/3 Main Market, Yusuf Sarai, call 26183333, Rs 10, 555 for a Mamba 1.8 cycle.

 

What: Futurama, vintage pop-up shop, view Facebook page here or email This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it , Rs 190 for a children’s book

 

Why: Divya Guha has a lot of vintage sunglasses. So many that she decided to sell them—and as anyone who has flirted with the retail space knows, no one can sell just one thing. With about 70 different kinds of eye wear, old watches from the 80s, Soviet-era children’s books, and even a 3D bust of Stalin, she’s the kind of crazy collector you want in your corner. Also look out for her custom design Calcutta bus conductor bags made in soft leather, and her old record players both battery and electric.  We’re most excited about her sunglasses though—we love the rainbow of a Colour Magic pair, and the thick frames of this 60s piece. Amongst them also lives Cartier shades from the 90s, and Dior from 10 years ago. At the moment, the next pop-up is at the Escape festival in Naukuchiyatal at the end of this month, but you can also email her if you’d like to buy directly from the source. Old school!

 

When:  You need to vintage the race.

One of the primary duties of a vintage store, we’ve always believed, is to serve up a healthy dose of romance. And House of Blondie's latest store in Promenade, Vasant Kunj, serves up plenty of nostalgia and longing, but not so much for a different fashion era as much for the genius that we know and love is their HKV outlet

A first look around the new space confirmed that other than a ceiling speckled with an army of industrial bulbs clothed in delicate lace, the outlet didn't live up to its first born's name. With two walls of accessories and a lone rack of clothes we struggled to find pieces to take home. There's the gold plated watch with the top hat and moustache dial, feeling perhaps a bit under the weather amidst rows and rows of neon and rhinestone baubles. Collar necklaces looked more Forever 21 and in some cases Claire's (ugh!) than vintage. There's a cliche burst of large fuschia stones on a gold chain, mixed in with a gold mesh Peter Pan collar.

We rummaged the ring collection to find something similar to a chariot shaped conversation starter our editor picked out last week from their HKV outlet. The only piece we liked was a nautical striped anchor ring. Pretty and forlorn looking, we hoped it would survive the ship-wreck that is this store.

Old Dimes Sake

The lone rack of clothes was missing trademark character pieces as well, with no sign of a bourgeoise looking sea-blue tweed pencil skirt we spotted at HKV last week, or a severe, almost Amish, moss green button down dress. Searching did reveal two good buys - orange candy striped pants in silk, fruity and irreverent; and a floral emerald green blouse with buttons bearing the stamp of a royal seal. Of a wayward noble lady perhaps, who left money and position for love?

But nothing convinced us that this store possesses the charm of elder sibling at Hauz Khas. You see, once we'd found a pocket watch nestled inside a porcelain tea-cup there. We've never really recovered from that beau-tea.

Getting there: First Floor, DLF Promenade Mall, Vasant Kunj. Rs 2000 for a gold plated Bonjour dial watch.

We don't recommend wearing your heart on your sleeve but indignation slung across your shoulder is a good look this season.

Dhyan, a recent start-up focussing on women's empowerment and health, has launched a range of cloth shopping bags stamped with key, not hokey messages. We particularly like the 'My dress is not a yes' and 'Ignore my lipstick, listen to what I'm saying' versions, both of which are available in a cool summer white.

The messages on these bags have been inspired by recent slogans and protest posters from across India and each bag has the  Hindi text of the message on its reverse side- no getting lost in translation here.

Dhyan promises that 100% of all profits will benefit charities, the most recent being Breakthrough. These can be found at Second Floor Studio (New Delhi) and Le Mill (Mumbai).

Getting There: New Delhi- Second Floor Studio, 39 Khan Market, call 43509857, Shahpur Jat- Olivia Dar, En Inde,Arte Cafe, Les Parisiennes,
Second Floor Studio; Mumbai- 17-25 Nandlal Jani Road, Wadi Bunder, call 23742415.

What: Havaianas retail space, ground floor, Select City Walk, Saket, prices start at Rs 750.

Why: Nothing like a loving layer of inch deep Delhi dust to ruin your new shoes. We suggest you kick back with these cool, durable new chappals, which have been available online for while (www.havaianasindia.in), and have finally found a permanent home in the capital. We're excited about  fuschia and orange printed flip flops, and ecen a pair with the cool white and pink dog print. Men, there are some funky ones for you too: especially raver inspired glow-in-the-dark ones, so you’ll never spill your drink on your toes. Nailed it!

When: You need to break a bad Hobbit.

What: Manchester United Pitch Gift, buy it at http://www.excitinglives.com, Rs 1950.

Why: If you’re still grieving Sir Alex Ferguson’s retirement, this should cheer you up: bpb gifts you a Manchester United mini field that claims to have authentic grass and seeds from the Old Trafford pitch!  Have a field day with the stadium box, seeds, soil and instructions on to grow your mini pitch that comes with a certificate of authenticity from Manchester United.

When: You want to get more than (greeting) carded.

 

Boys, here’s something to get through t-shirt and shorts weather. We spoke to one of Delhi’s nattiest dressers for tips—on condition of anonymity—who runs a secret bar, wielding a cocktail shaker and pocket square with the same élan.

 

Shoes: Pick them up whenever you see a good design and have them copied by Badri Prasad, a small cobbler in Khan Market near the mechanics at the back. He has some of his own bespoke designs as well, supplies the leather and is reasonable and fast with his work.

 

Trousers: For super tailored pants, pop by my friend Hemant Kaushik’s studio. Hemant is normally a women’s wear designer, but does men’s clothing on request.  (G 316, second floor, Lado Sarai, call 9810470030.)

 

Shirts: For special occasions, and when you feel like splurging - Vaish Tailors. (25 Regal Building, Connaught Place, call 23362512.)

Fabric: Only Nehru Place has the variety that a well-dressed man requires. For the summer: linen or poplin. For the winter: chambray or Oxford. I swear by Sahni Fabrics (G4, 82 83, Vaikunth, Nehru Place, call 41619414.)

 

Pocket Squares: Linen pocket square from Ermengildo Zegna. Also very good for ties. (135, ground floor, DLF Emporio, Vasant Kunj, call 46060999.)

 

Hair Product: For a Don Draper slicked back look, use L’Oreal Homme Fibre Sculpt hair wax.

 

High Street: Don’t have the time or inclination to go bespoke? Hit the racks at United Colours of Benetton for pants: great chinos and linen trousers as well as Zara shirts.

 

And because you now look the part, put your money where your mouth is. A perfect gentleman’s summer cocktail is the mint julep, special recipe courtesy our expert:

 

Mint Julep

 

60 ml bourbon

4 sprigs of mint

2 to 3 spoons of sugar

Crushed ice

 

Muddle mint leaves and sugar. Fill the glass with crushed ice. Add bourbon.

 

Fine and dandy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What: Last Forest Citronella Bees Wax Balm Insect Repellent, Rs 75, available online here, ships across the country.

Why: While our ankles played feast in the latest production of Mosquitoes on the Roof, we spotted a tub of lemon balm being passed around the open air party guests. Nicely scented and quite effective, this is Last Forest’s organic beeswax balm—for those with qualms about Odomos’ toxic content. Formerly retailing from The Altitude Store in Meharchand Market, which no longer stocks it, we went on an internet man-hunt until we tracked down the company, a small organic brand based in the Nilgiris. With citronella to keep away the pests and a tub of balm which will fit in your purse, we like that it’s not sticky and washes away easily. Also worth checking out are their other balms, notably the coconut (for cracked heels) and the lavender (for the yummy smell.)

When: You hear a buzzing in your ears.

What: Bobbi Brown store coming soon, Select City Walk, Ground Floor

Why: The tip of your kohl stick is crumbling in this heat, the bronzer in your bag belonged to the summer of 2011 and your mascara is begging for an upgrade. As if on cue, Bobbi Brown cosmetics will be opening their first stand-alone store in Delhi next month. While they're keeping the line-up secret for now, we're hoping to  Sheer Colour cheek tint,  Intensifying long-wear mascara and Hollywood Red lip colour.

When: Coming next month- It's not just a pigment of your imagination.