Posted by Kanika

Think of three random things. Now say them out loud. What’s that you said? Breast feeding, imported fruit, Loksatta. I have a press release for each of these sitting in my inbox. Seriously.

Despite (repeated) polite requests that certain activities, political parties and fruit do not fit into any of brown paper bag’s verticals, the surge of emails continue to come. More so now, during the holidays when greetings are in overdrive. They keep me entertained though, as I'm ever amused at the number of things that need “immediate release”. Listed below are a few of these minus company and brand names.

‘Weekend Breastfeeding Workshop’: I’ll take the photography for beginners this Sunday, thanks.

‘Mermaids are Back’: Watch real women dressed like mermaids, holding their breath and swishing around in a giant tank while you eat their lesser evolved finned cousins at a seafood restaurant. Do you like your women scurvy?

'Mr USA Bodybuilder of Two Consecutive Years Comes To India': Do you want to take this or should I?

'Global Launch of 100% Pure New Zealand Apples': Bite me! 

And there'll be more next week, pulp and politics. I just know it.